I know twenty years, by some measures, is a substantial passing of time. For yesterdays anniversary it was not. It has landed on me like a brick wall. The dust will settle in time and I will begin to see again with some clarity. It was a long, slow, very sudden suicide. Its been a blink of the eye twenty years. How much of the physical pain that I am feeling this morning is just an antidote for the emtional pain of a lifetime. The losses don't go away...they simply become obscured by the newest layers.