Happy Anniversary?

I know twenty years, by some measures, is a substantial passing of time.  For yesterdays anniversary it was not.  It has landed on me like a brick wall.  The dust will settle in time and I will begin to see again with some clarity.  It was a long, slow, very sudden suicide.  Its been a blink of the eye twenty years. How much of the physical pain that I am feeling this morning is just an antidote for the emtional pain of a lifetime. The losses don't go away...they simply become obscured by the newest layers.