***I am having this problem with dreams.I didn’t know it was a problem.Things I have accepted as my reality for decades…seem to have been dreams.Sometimes they came into reality with different players…sometimes the same ones.I can say quite emphatically that the memory where my motorcycle broke down and I climbed the rickety wooden steps to an apartment over a garage was NOT real.When I opened the door to the apartment I found Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward sitting at an old square table sipping coffee.It smelled delicious!Telling them my problem got the help I needed.Paul and Joanne very kindly fixed my bike for me and I went on my way.I know that one was a dream.Come on now….
***But the line between reality and fiction blurs a lot.For the last thirty years I have had this picture in my mind of a bald Rod Stewart at a piano fronting a band.I have always accepted this as his shaved head period.When I recently mentioned this to a friend I was informed with authority that Rod Stewart had NEVER shaved his head and appeared in public.OK, so maybe he did it behind closed doors for a while and really, sometimes his static hair does look like a wig.I am not ready to file this one away yet.
***OK…this one definitely was a dream.I was walking through the woods with a guy…following a distinct pathway to a clearing.In the middle of a good-sized area was a bed with sheets, pillows, and a comforter.OK…I definitely see sexual direction in this one.On the bed was a writhing pile of snakes in a moving tangle that could have struck fear in anyone watching an Indiana Jones movie.I turned to my paramour and said, “I suppose I have to clean this up?"Yes…that was definitely a dream.
***The scene is Los Angeles, the sixties.I had sex with the drummer from Wipeout in the bushes behind the Dean’s house at Occidental college.Now I am asking myself “Why in the bushes?”This was not a dream, but I really wish it was.What was I thinking?
I know twenty years, by some measures, is a substantial passing of time. For yesterdays anniversary it was not. It has landed on me like a brick wall. The dust will settle in time and I will begin to see again with some clarity. It was a long, slow, very sudden suicide. Its been a blink of the eye twenty years. How much of the physical pain that I am feeling this morning is just an antidote for the emtional pain of a lifetime. The losses don't go away...they simply become obscured by the newest layers.
I have a kitten that thinks everything I do requires his supervision and often his foot. He recently got fired from his self-appointed postiion as "Chef" Guppy. A quick acting paw overturned a bowl of Cheerios (dry) and he was canned. But he is still showing up for work daily. This morning he dumped the Melita filter of coffee grounds (dry).
At 1:00am Saturday, golf ball sized hail and rain sent me running to the chicken coop in my nightgown to put the chickens in their doghouse. At 4:00am the neighbors Oak Tree fell on the roof of my house. No Damage - what a miracle that was...
An early birthday present from Lora is a movie called BEFORE NIGHT FALLS in which Johnny Depp has two small parts. For one he is apprarently in drag and there is a rear shot of him in a thong. Oh my!. Haven't checked it out yet...but...SOON!
So TODAY IS THE DAY. I woke up and I am 60 years young/old. I did 80 math problems in my head to stimulate brain function and proceeded to fix Mom's breakfast. I moved the Cheerio bowl out of reach of the everpresent "Chef" Guppy...and sliced the bananas. Here is the result of my vastly impoved brain function.